This weekend, my parents will celebrate their 24th wedding anniversary. (Happy Anniversary!)
I have been lucky enough to have their relationship as my marker for what a marriage should be. Don't misunderstand me- I don't pretend to know (nor do I want to know) any details about their relationship and how it functions (because, hello, clearly I was brought by the stork and that is all the information I need to have).
But I do know that they support each other, roll their eyes at each other, drive each other crazy- but at the end of the day, they're committed to one another. They've weathered enough storms, family tragedies and stressful situations together for me to say this is 100% true. And sometimes, they make each other giggle like teenagers. And their being together, for the ups and downs, through the "I can't believe you just did that" or "I hate the way you _______ ", it's created my belief that marriage is, and should be, forever. And that it takes work, just like anything else, but the reward? It's so worth it.
I don't mean to say that I don't believe in divorce. I've seen it, many times, known people who have experienced it first hand and as children of divorce. Some divorces are civil, friendly, functioning. Many of them are nasty, hurtful and devastating. Sometimes, divorce is an unequivocal necessity.
My rant for the day? It stems from the allegations that Brett Favre sent pleading voice mails and lewd picture messages to a female sideline reporter while on the Jets & allegedly had some inappropriate contact with two massage therapists on the team as well. From Tiger Woods & all his shenanigans. From Jesse James and the heartbreak and humiliation he caused for Sandra Bullock.
But Brett Favre really sent me over the edge. Brett? You are a grown man. You are 41 years old. You've been married for 14 years. Your wife is your high school sweetheart & had your first child when she was only 20 years old (a full 7 years before you decided to marry her) She stood by your side as you battled an addiction to prescription pain killers. And then a drinking problem. And most significantly- your flip-flopping outlook on your retirement EVERY SINGLE YEAR (sarcasm, clearly..) Not only are you a father to two daughters who will look to you to see how they should be treated by the men in their lives, but you are now a grandfather.
Now your wife may be unbearable (which I doubt) and you may be trapped in a miserable, loveless marriage....but this is how you chose to repay her? Now the entire world can google "Brett Favre Text Messages" and see pictures of your....well, you know.
Beyond the humiliation that this woman has to endure, what bothers me almost more is that Brett Favre is a football icon, a legend. He has now been idolized by decades worth of boys and young men. Whether you like it or not, when you sign up to play professional sports, especially at the role of quarterback, you become somewhat of a role-model. And the PR team of the Minnesota Vikings will clean this mess up. Encourage him to dodge questions at press conferences instead of providing an honest, sincere apology. At worst, the NFL will suspend him from a game or two. And before we know it, this will be all be forgotten and Favre will once again be celebrated for his touch-down passes.
What!? Now I understand that his professional life and his personal life should be mutually exclusive but the truth of fame & being a famous sports player...they just aren't. Especially in this age of technology and twitter and having to know everybody's business all the gosh darn time.
Truly, Brett? I'd like you to apologize.
To your wife, for humiliating her. For not respecting her enough to exhibit self-control. For not knowing, or just ignoring, that you were a public figure and next to nothing is going to stay private, ever, particularly when it includes incriminating photographs.
To your daughters, because they will now live with this... destruction. They believed one thing about their father (and I'm pretty sure that it wasn't that he was a sleazy creepy lewd-message sending kind of guy) and now that's been turned upside down and they will likely spend a long time, if not the rest of their lives, making sense of it.
To young boys, young men, heck- adult men...for not respecting your position as an icon, or a role-model. I want you to shout to the rooftops that this is not how women should be treated and that you screwed up and you regret it all.
In short? You make me feel a little queasy & a lot ticked off. And I do know these are still just "allegations" and that theoretically, what you do is none of my business. But the kind of guys I want the little boys of this generation to grow up to be? The kind of boys that will be dating my daughter, who will be in possession of that little heart that I grew and nurtured? You are not that kind of guy. So if you are such a "man" in all other aspects of your life- a warrior on the field, a ladies man in the locker room- how about you prove it and do the most impressive thing a man can do (in my book)- apologize. Admit how wrong you were. How unbelievably stupid. And selfish. Maybe even cry a little. Also? Just retire already.
Thanks.
I have been lucky enough to have their relationship as my marker for what a marriage should be. Don't misunderstand me- I don't pretend to know (nor do I want to know) any details about their relationship and how it functions (because, hello, clearly I was brought by the stork and that is all the information I need to have).
But I do know that they support each other, roll their eyes at each other, drive each other crazy- but at the end of the day, they're committed to one another. They've weathered enough storms, family tragedies and stressful situations together for me to say this is 100% true. And sometimes, they make each other giggle like teenagers. And their being together, for the ups and downs, through the "I can't believe you just did that" or "I hate the way you _______ ", it's created my belief that marriage is, and should be, forever. And that it takes work, just like anything else, but the reward? It's so worth it.
I don't mean to say that I don't believe in divorce. I've seen it, many times, known people who have experienced it first hand and as children of divorce. Some divorces are civil, friendly, functioning. Many of them are nasty, hurtful and devastating. Sometimes, divorce is an unequivocal necessity.
My rant for the day? It stems from the allegations that Brett Favre sent pleading voice mails and lewd picture messages to a female sideline reporter while on the Jets & allegedly had some inappropriate contact with two massage therapists on the team as well. From Tiger Woods & all his shenanigans. From Jesse James and the heartbreak and humiliation he caused for Sandra Bullock.
But Brett Favre really sent me over the edge. Brett? You are a grown man. You are 41 years old. You've been married for 14 years. Your wife is your high school sweetheart & had your first child when she was only 20 years old (a full 7 years before you decided to marry her) She stood by your side as you battled an addiction to prescription pain killers. And then a drinking problem. And most significantly- your flip-flopping outlook on your retirement EVERY SINGLE YEAR (sarcasm, clearly..) Not only are you a father to two daughters who will look to you to see how they should be treated by the men in their lives, but you are now a grandfather.
Now your wife may be unbearable (which I doubt) and you may be trapped in a miserable, loveless marriage....but this is how you chose to repay her? Now the entire world can google "Brett Favre Text Messages" and see pictures of your....well, you know.
Beyond the humiliation that this woman has to endure, what bothers me almost more is that Brett Favre is a football icon, a legend. He has now been idolized by decades worth of boys and young men. Whether you like it or not, when you sign up to play professional sports, especially at the role of quarterback, you become somewhat of a role-model. And the PR team of the Minnesota Vikings will clean this mess up. Encourage him to dodge questions at press conferences instead of providing an honest, sincere apology. At worst, the NFL will suspend him from a game or two. And before we know it, this will be all be forgotten and Favre will once again be celebrated for his touch-down passes.
What!? Now I understand that his professional life and his personal life should be mutually exclusive but the truth of fame & being a famous sports player...they just aren't. Especially in this age of technology and twitter and having to know everybody's business all the gosh darn time.
Truly, Brett? I'd like you to apologize.
To your wife, for humiliating her. For not respecting her enough to exhibit self-control. For not knowing, or just ignoring, that you were a public figure and next to nothing is going to stay private, ever, particularly when it includes incriminating photographs.
To your daughters, because they will now live with this... destruction. They believed one thing about their father (and I'm pretty sure that it wasn't that he was a sleazy creepy lewd-message sending kind of guy) and now that's been turned upside down and they will likely spend a long time, if not the rest of their lives, making sense of it.
To young boys, young men, heck- adult men...for not respecting your position as an icon, or a role-model. I want you to shout to the rooftops that this is not how women should be treated and that you screwed up and you regret it all.
In short? You make me feel a little queasy & a lot ticked off. And I do know these are still just "allegations" and that theoretically, what you do is none of my business. But the kind of guys I want the little boys of this generation to grow up to be? The kind of boys that will be dating my daughter, who will be in possession of that little heart that I grew and nurtured? You are not that kind of guy. So if you are such a "man" in all other aspects of your life- a warrior on the field, a ladies man in the locker room- how about you prove it and do the most impressive thing a man can do (in my book)- apologize. Admit how wrong you were. How unbelievably stupid. And selfish. Maybe even cry a little. Also? Just retire already.
Thanks.